Monday, March 17, 2008

White Women And The Stand By Your Man Syndrome

Since Eliot "I Likes Dem High-Class Hoes" Spitzer's wife asked him to fight to keep his job when this mess first broke publicly, this cartoon is strictly wishful thinking on the cartoonist's part. As the comedian Mo'nique jokes; "white women ain't about to let nothin' mess with the paper." Women of color need to pay attention to this long-standing habit of white women "standing by their man" in the face of the absolute worse humiliations. Hillary Clinton, Mrs. Spitzer and Mrs. Vitter and that child in New Jersey who knew her man was gay all the time, show the lengths some white women will go to maintain their privilege and power. And we as women of color expect them to stand up for us? We have got to be nuts.


Miss Pinky March 17, 2008 at 8:56 AM  

"and that child in New Jersey who knew her man was gay all the time"


You are wrong for
BW definitely need to be smarter when it comes to the "bottom line."

Naima March 17, 2008 at 10:35 AM  

What about Carlita Kilpatrick?

Professor Tracey March 17, 2008 at 10:46 AM  

Does the Da' Hip Hop mayor have any real money or power? I don't think so. She had nothing to lose or gain, Kwame was never going to be anything more than what he is now, the mayor of Detroit.

And who is she? All the white women I mentioned had money and careers of their own. They could have walked away without losing a thing, but they stayed. A big difference in perspective.

tasha212 March 17, 2008 at 12:48 PM  

LOL! Something to think about.

Anonymiss March 17, 2008 at 1:31 PM  

@ Prof Tracey

My coworkers are calling this a matter of the heart situation. I say that this boils down to how status-driven they are. That my coworkers agreed on as well. Some people aren't willing to give up on the social and financial capital that comes with political (or celebrity) marriages.

It's amazing how a lot of colored girls (Black and Brown) are of the same mindset. I've been hearing this crap since high school: "As long as I'm getting money and my kids are taken care of, who cares what he does on the side." SMH.

wisdomteachesme March 17, 2008 at 2:26 PM  

God bless the child who has HER OWN! Amen.

i have met many women that gave up their undergrad & master's work, their homes, their cars, their families, their friends, their homes all for a man...and even some that are caught in the curse of taking a man over their children...

i have helped many women get back their lives. finish their degrees, get a new car, a new house get back thei self-respect... and to remember that the people that are drawn to evil should be pitied and prayed for and evil itself is to be hated.
Women have to remember that evil will come and try to take your identity-they need to remember not to hand over the authority they posses to any person, man or woman or child.

i walk in my authority--and i am helping many women Take theirs's not that hard to just have to remember not to give it away in the first place.
being in a relationship does not mean you forfeit who you are--your means growing together in agreement...not competitiion or full power over another...that is not love-that is evil...

that is the difference no matter what your skin color is...don't loose your identitiy, your authority and your is already ours to use for ourselves and to the benefit of helping others.
and another note...what are a person's motives for getting married in the first place?
that is the bottom line...having a wedding and being in a marriage are 2 different things...

Anonymiss March 17, 2008 at 3:14 PM  

having a wedding and being in a marriage are 2 different things...

Couldn't agree more.

Shirley March 17, 2008 at 4:59 PM  

Isn't there the phrase "Ride or Die" that a lot of black women live by? Does that mean "stand by your man no matter what?" I really don't know. I've just started hearing that phrase.

I've known many black women who will defend and stand by their loser boyfriends/husbands repeatedly due to some twisted sense of loyalty (or security, money etc etc). It's not just a white woman thing.

focusedpurpose March 17, 2008 at 7:48 PM  

Professor Tracey-



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