Sunday, February 15, 2009

R&B Singer Chris Brown Isssues First Of Many Future Apologies - Too Many Black Folks Still Defending The Indefensible

Now it begins. Chris Brown is sorry, I mean really sorry.

Let's hope a few more parents of pre-teen and teenage girls will be sorry, but firm in not buying Chris Brown's albums, watching his movies or going to his concerts in the near future. Let's hope Wrigley is sorry but firm in dropping Brown as a spokesperson and Nickelodeon will be sorry, but firm about keep him off their teen-based programming. We can all be sorry together until Chris Brown gets it together.

Brown has the right to rebuild his reputation and his career, but this mess is a serious problem, not just for him, but his fan base, his peers, and his community. If Chris Brown is serious about getting back in business, then once his legal status is clear, he needs to admit what he did was wrong and come out as an advocate against domestic violence. Then, maybe his career can begin again.

And why does Jay-Z makes perfect sense on this situation? And why are too many black folks particularly black women too damn stupid to get how dangerous their defense of the the indefensible is? On Monday, MTV is holding a ratings fuel intervention for dumb-ass folks that think beating women is okay.

I don't really care about "what...what happened was" or whatever qualifiers folks want to come up with for this young cat. I want folks to be real and admit that if this was a member of their family that got beaten and choked by some average brother on the street, would you be so forgiving?

I'm sure at some point that fool that murdered Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother, and nephew will be sorry too. I'll be sorry for that fool when they put the needle in his arm to enforce the death penalty punishment that he should deservedly receive, but I will also be firm in feeling he earned it.


(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] February 15, 2009 at 6:49 PM  


My stomach literally turns everytime I read that someone feels sorry for C.B. Sorry for what?? He's not the one who ended up in the hospital. No matter how the story is going to be spun, she's the one with the bruises.

Also, if he had accomplices, to help him get-away after he beat her, I would hope they're prosecuted as well.

D.J. February 15, 2009 at 7:50 PM  

"I want folks to be real and admit that if this was a member of their family that got beaten and choked by some average brother on the street, would you be so forgiving?"

But here is the problem...yes they would forgive, yes they do forgive. That is one of the things we as a group,a race, whatever have not worked thru yet. Do I think this was a horrible thing that happened yes. But then I think about R. Kelly and how was as a people responded to that.

God will help Chris, God will see him thru, God will be the be all and end all.

ActsofFaithBlog February 15, 2009 at 9:22 PM  

Now can we revisit your post about whether Black men hate Black women? Is this one of those situations where a "misunderstanding" was to have occurred?

Mahoganydymond February 15, 2009 at 10:58 PM  

I agree Chris might be able to get his rep back. I was shocked and hurt by the actions of him. I never thought that he would have been that type of brother. You know most men who loves their mother dearly don't do those kinds of things. I hope that this does teach men, women, and teens that abuse is not ok. I also hope that he will get help for this problem. It really isn't a good look for him. I also pray that Rihanna will be able to get the strength and courage to go on with her life and teach these young girls how to walk away from an abusive boyfriend..

Rj February 15, 2009 at 11:09 PM  

God is wonderful and all, but Chris is going to have to see himself through and take responsibility for his actions, his healing, and his comeback. And I think, as PT has said, the BEST thing he could do is come back as an advocate. Counseling is wonderful and all, too, but in order for it to be effective, it can't be some old anger management BS...

lena February 16, 2009 at 1:15 AM  

"I want folks to be real and admit that if this was a member of their family that got beaten and choked by some average brother on the street, would you be so forgiving?

As someone who had a female family member have this very thing happen (but on a much worse level) to her by a stranger, a home intruder, I can say 'no', I'd never forgive something like that. It was horrendous, and he needed to pay, but the bacground story we got on him regarding his home life explains why he likely became a monster so young. Forgive his actions? Nope. Should he pay harsh consequences for his actions and also hope for his rehab? Yep. Feel sorry for him, and feel scared for other women and girls when I hear about unspeakable abuse and control issues forced upon him from the very day he was born? Yep. Most definitely.

As I have said on this topic of abuse and violence before,the BC and the U.S. in general has allowed a culture of violence against women -especially Black women; and have high rates of violence against children coming from within their own families.

It's in the music, on TV, and in too many of our homes. Again, I feel sorry for the youth who grew up having parents who forced violence into their mindset: infants having to carry bags of crack on their backs and then getting shot at 8 years old (true case of an entertainer); or youths watching their "fathers" beat or kill their mothers from a very young age, and then having all of this terrible parental behavior reinforced by the media as "OK", "cool", and "in" in popular music, etc.

I'm sorry, but expect some women beaters/killers to be raised out of these situations! Not everyboy, but alot!

As long as it's acceptable to subject children and mothers -and mothers in front of their children- to violence from men, expect the majority of violence to continue from our sons emulating these men.

Chris Brown is a victim too and has become what he's been taught. A lot of guys out here have become the abusers that they've been raised to be. On a simplistic level, Frankenstein was made into a monster through no choice of his, but a monster still must be stopped. That's my take and sympathy on the whole CB issue.

lena February 16, 2009 at 1:57 AM  

"And why does Jay-Z makes perfect sense on this situation?"


If there is all this anger about what CB has allegedly done, why support the comments of Jay-Z of all people who has rapped about doing worse to women, or "b*****s", as he prefers to call them? And at some point in Jay-Z's hitory., he had serious accusations leveled against him for allegedly stabbing a woman in the stomach..Just because Jay-Z got off, doesn't make him not guilty - exhibt A: R. Kelley.

Where's the logic in hating CB and doing a "hip hip hooray" for, of all people, Jay-Z???

Shocked and in Awe, but the last I'll say on the topic.

Anonymiss February 16, 2009 at 2:03 AM  

I wonder about these "sistas" that side with abusive brothas. Is there some sort of protection by standing with the abuser rather than the abused?

Professor Tracey February 16, 2009 at 2:29 AM  

@ Lena -

Of all the comments you've made on this subject, not once have you said Chris Brown is responsible for himself. All of your comments are excuses for his behavior. You say you aren't defending him, but every comment you make is a defense for his negative behavior. What does Chris Brown's behavior have to do with anyone else?

And please don't make comments about things I didn't say. No one is celebrating Jay-Z, that's why I posed his words as a question. And his remarks about Rihanna are not of any less value because of his words as a rapper. And I am not aware of anytime Jay-Z got off for stabbing a woman, can you provide the story, if you are going to make that point?

And on this blog I have smashed R. Kelly, so I'm not sure what point you are trying to make. My feelings are the same about R. Kelly as they are about Chris Brown or Miles Davis, or James Brown. If you are an abuser of women, I don't think you should be in the public eye. I can't stand the fact that SOME in the black community want to reward these kind of people because they are rich and famous.

And a whole lot of people watch tv, movies, listen to music, survive abuse and don't become batterers. You don't have to watch or listen. If you want to give credit to folks who become abusers, why don't you give credit to people who don't. Folks who have been abused need to get treatment BEFORE they become abusers, not after.

And what about the rights of innocent victims? Victims are supposed to be understanding because their attacker might have been abused in the past or listened to the wrong CD?

Professor Tracey February 16, 2009 at 2:32 AM  


Some black folks, not all. We need to gather the voices of the black folks that think this kind of thinking is ass backwards and become a collective. The media loves to collect the most ignorant voices of a social group and make them prominent and public. We need to work harder to combat that fact.

Anonymous,  February 16, 2009 at 9:42 AM  

Even though I've never checked for their music, from what I'm hearing, Chris Brown should pay the consequences, period. If it hasn't happened already, he should be dropped from his sponsors (e.g. Doublemint, etc).

But considering the warped mindset of a few, most of them would probably keep him on board because from a business standpoint, controversy sells. Damn who gets hurt.

tasha212 February 16, 2009 at 10:32 AM  

I went to a party last Friday where this subject was discussed. The general consensus among the women was that Rhianna was crazy because she was from the islands and therefore deserved to be hit. They also brought up the point that she is known to have hit him before. SMH. To me, all of this is besides the point. He had no right to put his hands on her PERIOD. And it disturbs me that WOMEN defend him. Don't they realize that it is this very attitude that creates the atmosphere in our communities that makes violence against black women and girls acceptable?

roslynholcomb February 16, 2009 at 4:55 PM  

I will never understand it, and fortunately, I no longer even try. Black folk will throw a black woman under a bus even when she's a VICTIM, but black men are allowed to do whatever they want with impunity, and black men AND women will defend them. Then we wonder why our communities are so dysfunctional.

lena February 16, 2009 at 11:35 PM  

Professor Tracey -

I respectfully disagree with you. I may not have used the exact words that you prefer, but I have defintely written that CB needs to be held accountable for his actions - that's the same as saying he take reposnibility for his actions, and if he won't take responsibility then outside justice (courts, etc) should have him be held accountable.

My Comments from your February 10th post on CB:
"While what he has done to Rhianna is absolutely wrong, and he needs to pay for his abuse, "

My Comments from your February 15th post on CB:
"Should he pay harsh consequences for his actions and also hope for his rehab? Yep"

That sounds like I'm saying he should take responsibility for what he's done, IMO.

And I have definitely never tossed Rhianna under the bus..Just because you all don't understand my opinion, does not make it OK to falsely present my opinions to make me sound like an "abuser-defender".

That's garbage, and I think you all know it. I have never posted that Rhianna is some sort of
Jezebel-no-good-women-who-infected-CB-and-got-what-she-deserved crap that you all have mentioned you've seen on other blogs.Rhianna has done nthing wrong.

She didn't get what she deserved, was terribly mistreated and Chris Brown should pay for his actions - that is sayng the same thing you're saying:
Take responsibility for his actions.

But why noone can see that I am just saddened by the fact that a kid at 19-years old has already shown signs of becoming a long-term abuser, IMHO, I just don't understand. The fact that you and many of your other posters can't see that I'm looking at the greater problem we have in our
society and how it is now affecting the youth in our community (not just two individuals), is sad to me.

I have always written in the defense of Black women, so all this talk about how I'm so quick to throw a Black woman under the bus shows a lack of critical reading and thinking skills.

I'm not saying anything all that deep or controversial - basically just that it's a shame that this is perpertrated by a black teen onto another black teen (well, only 1 year past her teen years).

I don't apologize for anything I've said because I KNOW it's in support of Black women and the Black community as a whole. Now I feel sorry for YOUR audience who can't see the obvious.

Professor Tracey February 17, 2009 at 12:43 AM  

@Lena -

We can agree to disagree. And no one is asking you to apologize. And you don't have to feel sorry for anyone either. You are welcome to believe what you wish just like everyone else. And just because you believe something doesn't me your are right or that other folks are wrong.

It quite clear black folks have an serious problem with relating to each other and treating one another as human beings. It is even more clear that we as a people have even more difficulty discussing these issues.

As I stated before, it doesn't matter what happened to Chris Brown in his past, that doesn't give him the right to attack anyone else. Additionally, once again, plenty of folks have suffered abuse and never attacked others. And that's a major difference in how you and I view this issue.

If your bigger picture provides that kind of excuse, then fine, my does not. It's as simple as that.

I appreciate your voice and you are always welcome to express your opinion here on this blog. It's more interesting when folks don't agree.

lena February 17, 2009 at 1:02 AM  

"As I stated before, it doesn't matter what happened to Chris Brown in his past, that doesn't give him the right to attack anyone else. "

It's not about his "right", it's about what has become ingrained and acceptable.The same as in the music, the same as in some households. Not psycho-babble, just the obvious truth when you look at domestic violence of all types in the Black community. It will never go away unless we get to the root of the problem.

My bigger picture doesn't give an excuse, it presents the cold, hard truth of what's happening with so many Black youth. What happens in your past DOES matter for many. Some people are able to react positively to a negative situation, and some react negatively to negative situations.

Either way, the negative situation shouldn't have been there in the first place.

However, I see your point, and respect it, just only partially agree with it. Off this topic for now, because I think I'm starting to speak in circles and say the same thing. Peace.

Professor Tracey February 17, 2009 at 1:48 AM  

@Lena -

Obvious to whom? Not every black person is affected by the same things. And that's the point. If you want to believe that Chris Brown has that crutch fine, I don't. I don't think you're wrong, I'm just not willing to subscribe to that belief system.

What's obvious to me is that people have a choice. Chris Brown made the wrong one and that's his responsibility. I'm not carrying his burden for him.

lena February 17, 2009 at 9:02 AM  

Professor -
"not every black person is affected by the same things."

My point exactly.

Thanks for the spirited convo anyway!

Professor Tracey February 17, 2009 at 10:45 AM  

@Lena -

As I stated before let's just agree to disagree and move on. End of discussion. it's clearly pointless now.

lena February 17, 2009 at 8:55 PM  

Professor Tracey -
One lastthing. This doesn't have to be posted, because I'mnot trying to have a public one-upmanship, since my concern is for the betterment of people.

But I did want to send you one example of Jay-Z inappropriately putting his hands on a woman. It's fairly mild video, compared to other stuff he's done, but it's the only one I ever really new of being taped. I remember my friends talking about this, along with many of his women-hating song lyrics.

lena.a.thompsonJay-Z has a LOT of skeletons in his closet whenn it comes to the traetment of women - always has.

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