Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Now On Sale At Walmart - The Sarah Palin Doll - Special GOP Feminist Talking Edition

Freshly imported direct from China and currently on sale at your local Walmart - The Sarah Palin Doll - Special GOP Feminist Talking Edition. This doll is the latest must have novelty item for any woman, particularly white women who are supporting Sarah Palin for the vice-presidency, not because she is qualified, but because she's a mother of five, spunky, attractive, not black and doesn't have a penis. Not to mention her best qualification, she doesn't believe in a damn thing that the majority of all American women believe in.

This special edition doll comes with the standard features of the chic, but all-mighty powerful tipsy turvey twister, x-mas tree-topper hair-do and the designer glasses that deflect any question of the five colleges in six years to get one degree intellect, but embraces the "one smart cookie" inside every woman. And don't miss the more than 32 teeth, plus-white smile that instantly says "I really care about you."

Each doll comes with three special outfits: the basic black "I'm sexy, but still the boss" power suit with plunging neckline, the naughty catholic school girl outfit with ultra-mini skirt, push-up bra, knee socks, and plunging neckline, and the pitbull in a skirt with moose terminator trench coat with thigh holster and plunging neckline. Special edition accessories include: one pair of fuck-me heels, one pair of hoochie-hockey mama stiletto boots, a 9mm handgun, bible, rhinestone American flag pin in the shape of a moose, and one tube of lipstick.

This special edition doll features multiple snappy and witty phrases to keep all delusional and wishy-washy white women entertained for hours and hours even as their homes are being foreclosed upon, their jobs being down-sized, their children are being poorly educated, and their families are struggling.

Here's a small sample of the more than 72 talking points that the Sarah Palin Doll - Special GOP Feminist Talking Edition has too offer -

"thanks, but no thanks, to that 'bridge to nowhere.'"

"ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies, wait a second.....just don't ask me any questions."

"real women pay for their own rape kit evidence to be processed!"

"I don't have a damn clue what a vice-president does, but I'm gonna look good doing whatever it is."

"I sold my sexuality, integrity, and the equality of American women in exchange for a shot to be vice-president on e-Bay.....for a profit!"

"global warming? what chu talking 'bout?

"John McCain is not older than my own grandpappy."

"I love moose stew made with moose meat I killed and skinned myself."

I'm a pro-life, Hillary hating, gun-toting, homophobic, community organizer bashing, war mongering, creationist, feminist, dammit!"

"I'm ready to be President, yup...yup."

5 comments:

Faith September 10, 2008 at 4:55 AM  

Spot on! She is the biggest Trojan Horse outside of George Bush and apparently a lot of people are just stupid enough to fall for it.

page September 10, 2008 at 10:05 AM  

PLEASE tell me this is a HOAX

production on these plastic dolls had to have been in the works for 6 - 10 weeks as this is CHRISTMAS production/shipping season .........for wholesalers

(logistically even w/air freight it would take 10 extra days to roll out in all 9, billion wal-mart stores)

either they paid a premium for USA MFG for initital roll out or - these dolls were aleady under production before the BIG SURPRISE..

PLEASE tell me this is a HOAX
PLEASE tell me this is a HOAX

Just Me September 24, 2008 at 11:41 PM  

Ummm...this blogger apparently took a parody...yes, a parody on the website: www.spoof.com and reported it as fact. Mattel has no such doll out in Walmarts or anywhere else. It was a joke, a spoof. You can go to their site and read all the disclaimers following the fictitious 'article'.

Professor Tracey September 25, 2008 at 12:01 AM  

@Just Me -

My entire post is a parody, apparently you missed that. Mattel is not selling the doll and neither is Walmart. So, I'm not sure what exactly your point is.

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