Saturday, January 24, 2009

For Grown-Ups Only - NY Times Magazine Article - "What Is Female Desire?"

Read the article here and please come back here with your comments or questions. I would very interested to know if any black women feel this "research" reflects their beliefs or experiences.

I am a sincere believer that black folks would be happier and involved in more fulfilling and healthy relationships if we as a people had more HONEST and OPEN conversations about sex and sexuality.

Serious responses only, please keep juvenile comments to yourself.

3 comments:

Renee January 24, 2009 at 4:05 PM  

That was a very long article. In the end it was extremely disappointing because even though these women claim to be feminist they readily fell back on a patriarchal understanding on sex. I don't agree that female sexuality is narcissistic. The idea that all women are waiting to be conquered is archaic to say the least. For proclaimed feminist I am shocked that they did not see an element of conscious decision and or agency in our sexual choices. It seems that desire as understood by these women comes down to a reflexive act i.e we desire because we are desired.

Rj January 26, 2009 at 9:41 AM  

Yes, indeed that was long. But it was evidence of the duality of psychology. You have one person saying one thing, as a result of her evidence, and another person saying the opposite. Neither person is wrong to the extent that they accept the opposite as a possible truth.

PS--I hate psychology.

Women are the focus because of how we have been oppressed and sexually controlled...manipulated, even. The cultural ramifications overpower anything that could be presumed biological. I'd go so far as to think that any evolutionary biological determinations, are... assumptions, at best.

When we are in a society where we feel free, where our sexuality isn't interrogated and shunned, by both men and their female colluders, then we will have understanding. Years of sexual repression need to be undone. We need a sex roundtable. We need to be talking about sex like we talk about whats for dinner. We need sexual honesty, period.

GoldenAh January 27, 2009 at 4:44 PM  

Back when I used to read books, female sexuality was defined into categories of frigid, slutty, and emotionally vulnerable (childlike). Then I'd read essays by feminists claiming women were not attracted to buff or muscular men, but sensitive, less muscular men. And that very little did turn women on.

The researchers in the article used women with ambiguous sexuality: attracted to everything, and everybody, and extrapolated them as the average woman. I saw Zumanity in Las Vegas. Great show. The "women" didn't strike me as sexy, alluring, or physically arresting. I was intrigued by the weird makeup, clothes, and awesome stunts. However, I really, really did enjoy the male strippers in Thunder From Down Under.

I think if there's a serious study to be done on female sexuality, it would have to span years, and be honest about the background of the subjects. Anyone willing to have a measuring device stuck up her vagina is - to me - someone not normal, or different from the jump. I'd answer surveys, maybe, but no one is sticking anything on me, or in me.

Frankly, I distrust researchers.

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